This is going Viral: Confessions of a Selfish Mother

Today with great pain in my heart, I am going to share my real story. When our first child was born, that was the best thing that ever happened to us. Everything was fine until about 14 months of age. There was language, imitation, cuddling, hugs, kisses, a lot of laughter and everything that a child should be doing at 14 months of age. After we finished the vaccine schedule, within a few weeks we saw a seizure (at that time we didn’t know it was a seizure), and a terrible one. We had our hearts in our mouth with the way our child passed out in front of our eyes. For a fraction of a second we felt that our whole world had come to an end.

No one in either side of the family had any history of neurological issues, seizures, epilepsy, Down syndrome or any kind of genetic issues. We were very confused as to what happened to our child in that moment.

One by one we starting seeing regressions like complete loss of language and only blabbering remained, mealtimes became war zones, no ability to learn or understand anything, loss of eye contact, no memory, extreme sensitivity to sounds/temperatures/textures/touches/crowd, repetitive actions, terrible meltdowns and seizures reached to a new height everyday. Seizures became the only form of communication. It occurred even in sleep. They became so severe that we witnessed it 3-4 times a day, everyday. We became experts at CPR.

We just failed to understand what happened with our child overnight and couldn’t believe that this was the same child. I visited several times to my child’s pediatricians and kept on complaining that there was something really different and haunting. Every time the doctors would send me home with a handout saying it was long breath holding spells and nothing else. But we could clearly see, it wasn’t what the doctor was saying. Anyone as in family, friends or acquaintances who witnessed our child’s seizure would be so disturbed that they weren’t able to sleep for a couple of days. They would say, “We pity you mamma.” Some close friends said, “Might be you should see a Neurosurgeon.”


Courtesy: Google Images

We failed again to understand that why going for groceries, taking a shower or simple chewing and swallowing was such a nightmare for our child? We couldn’t go out for parties, social gathering, dinners or movies. Especially, when I saw kids younger than my child, who could easily do everything a child, should be doing at his or her age, I would slip under depression. I very well remember those sleepless nights, those unstoppable tears, that anxiety, that worry and restlessness regarding my child’s situation.

I have lost the count of how many doctors, nurses, specialists and hospitals I approached for help. I am being completely honest here, first of all those so-called medical professionals couldn’t even quantify what was wrong with my child. Then an acquaintance out of nowhere suggested that my child needed evaluation and therapies to grow normally. I can’t express how offended I felt when I heard the words like ‘grow normally.’

We waited for 2 months to get an appointment for evaluation. At the end of evaluation they broke out the word, “It’s Autism.” I had never imagined even in my wildest dreams that this could happen to our child. My whole world turned upside down, I broke down into tears in front of all the therapists, evaluators and case manager. My husband held my hand but tears still kept rolling down my cheeks.

We started looking for the symptoms of Autism, thinking may be the evaluator was wrong. But to our heart’s misery she was right to the core. It was extremely difficult for us to accept it. We accepted Autism but still continued to believe that our child was perfect. We decided to look for a solution and make our child independent.

The strongest decision that we took a week after we found out the truth, “We will never give up on our child and never tell anyone about our problems.”  The ‘only’ reason for that is, we never want our child to be judged for the shortcomings or failures on the basis of Autism and secondly we don’t want to attach it to our child’s name for the rest of the life, let our child decide if anyone needs to know. I have become selfish for my child’s identity. My only determination and drive is my child’s recovery.


Courtesy: Google Images

My child is a piece of my body and there is no one on this earth that has made me fall in love so mad and deeply as my baby. So go judge me as much as you want, I am selfish for my child’s well-being and independency. I have gone to such unimaginable extents of hard work that people thought I was crazy. I battled with my fears and uncertainty.

If you feel my story is worth a share then spread this message by sharing it as much as possible to help give hopes to people in similar situation. Tag a friend, someone you know or a family member who is looking for answers. Follow us and stay updated. I will be providing a step-by-step guide to complete recovery from ASD or at least getting very close to recovery in my subsequent write-ups.

If you want more information, guidance, treatment options and counseling, we provide services for the same. It is designed to suit every family or person in trouble with ASD. You can email and get in touch with us for more services.



Categories: Autism

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7 replies

  1. The last sentance in you penultimate paragraph has given me cause to pause! Did you mean ‘guide to complete recovery…’ in regards to receiving a diagnosis and COMING TO TERMS!??? Or supporting and encouraging our ASD children to go FURTHER!???


    • Guide to complete recovery, in terms of supporting, encouraging them and believing in them as to what they can be, rather what Autism is making them. The child that has been mentioned in this article has completely recovered from the medical problems, health issues that Autism brought along like seizures, eating disorders, sensory issues and many such issues that was terribly hurting the child. Many other children are also under great suffering and pain due to health problems that tag along with Autism. we can provide a complete guide to help them recover from all the suffering 🙂


  2. PIN POST GUEST!!!!!!!!! Peter Morici
    He will be with us LIVE!!! this SUNDAY DECEMBER 4 2016 at 10:00 AM START WRITING ALL YOU QUESTIONS IN THE PIN POST!!!!!! THe purpose of y=this one is that people could see it, questions may be writen in the PIN POST!! 😉

    My son’s mother is Russian, she had a mouthful of dental amalgams, while she was pregnant and had some dental work on 6 teeth. My son was born with heavy metal toxicity, and then had all vax’s til age 2 1/2. His symptoms were: head banging, no eye contact, no speech, and eating issues. He was diagnosed at 2 yr 4 months with severe autism. I then looked up and discovered on my own about metals and had his hair tested. Then I started supplements and AC chelation at 3 1/2 years old. I did 120 rounds, my wife is clueless and has a similar hair test. My family didn’t think it was good to do this but I was committed when I saw almost immediate results. He was in special ed with Down syndrome kids etc. He progressed a great deal. We went to see some top developmental pediatric doctors, who proved to be worthless at National Children’s Hospital including (name removed) who’s a legend in this field. My daughter was born 3 years later, then my son and we did not vax her at all. We moved back to Chicago and started seeing Dr. Usman who flat out told me that I saved my son’s life by doing the AC chelation, that he is “very mild”. His ATEC score about 20, from about 100. She prescribed MB12 shots which is why I went to see her, and after nearly 3 years of shots, he is literally indistinguishable from his peers. He now is 3rd grade, has had several girlfriends, who flock to him, he is very good looking :). During the main chelation days I had his urine tested and he had 11 different metals coming out, test 2nd day of round first urine in the morning, we repeated this test much later and using same method the levels were re-markedly reduced [Note: those tests were NOT challenge test. It was collection of urine during and after chelation rounds]. I got him into cub scouts to see myself his interactions with kids and its been a great experience, I run the scouts for his school, and his ES is ranked in top 100 in Illinois. I have given him about 25 different minerals vitamins and oils nearly everyday. I have tried to reach other local parents but most don’t want to do it, and these kids I see don’t improve. We did the 23andme test and he had the MTHFR +/-, and Andy Cutler said to give extra folic acid. My daughter now 6 was exposed to metals given the fact that she was breastfed for 1 year, and has had emotional issues, OCD. After starting AC method, I noticed improvement the first day. She would babble a lot, it was not understandable, but now speaks clearly. I think she has ADD/ADHD, but have done only 30 or so rounds. She is very social but can’t concentrate well. My son self taught himself PP 2013 and is posting his work on youtube and has 100+ views and 40 comments, he’s an expert at Robolx. His teacher now thinks he’s a savant because he can remember dates etc., from years ago. She said this after he fooled her by writing a soccer schedule and detailed info on soccer which he never played, and she taught 3rd grade 23 years. Email me at pwmcon2 at yahoo thanks for your time.
    – Peter, son, age 9 (120 rounds) and daughter, age 6 (30 rounds)



  1. Shocking Revelation: Why I followed Mommy Instincts and Took Medicine in my Hands? – Great Autism Recovery
  2. Why I Started this Movement of Great Autism Recovery – Great Autism Recovery

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